405er: I have been unemployed since May '09...And went from manic (searching frantically for a job, considering several employment/ career options) to utterly depressed (completely withdrawn, don't see/call any friends, never leave the house, crying every day, no longer do anything. Spend entire day in bed, rarely read---I feel as though my intellect has severely suffered...I feel like I'm a in a bottomless pit) I'm too broke and have no insurance to even get examined by a psychiatrist. I'm far from being a doctor, but I'm convinced I'm chronically depressed. I'm in California...feel so lost. I really feel like I could use some job coaching at least. I don't have family support since in my culture depression and like illnesses are highly stigmatized. My parents just tell me snap out of it. They can't believe a college grad is such " a zero" (their actual words)... Any recommendations? (I'm 26)
The405Club: First, I'm sorry you lost your job. Job loss is one of the most devestating and significant losses in life that is up there with the big ones like death and divorce. The loss is perceived by some people as if it were a formal declaration of failure and incompetence. People who have been laid off or fired from a job, sometimes turn a lousy situation inward and attack themselves over it as a way of coping or fighting back. It's human nature. One need only google search the topic "Job Loss" on the Internet to come up with a daunting amount that talks about the stages of job loss, including fear, anger, doubt, obsessive thoughts--much like the natural stages of feelings over death. So give yourself a break and realize that what you feel is natural. Accepting it, recognizing it, is the first step. The fact that you read unemployment online websites like The 405 Club shows that you want to climb out of your funk. Pat yourself on the back.
It's when these feelings hold us hostage for a protracted period of time, and we can't seem to get out from under, that we have to seek professional help. We know enough about symptoms today to realize when someone is depressed and needs some helping along. Though you have no health insurance benefits and it may be too late to join COBRA (but you could ask your last employer HR dept.), you can call the state mental health office in your area and ask for an agency that accepts sliding scale fees for payment. That means a therapist or doctor will only accept what you can afford. A fee would be determined by your unemployment income and a sliding scale fee may mean as little as only $10./week. Please muster up the strength to pick up the phone or ask a trusted friend to do so on your behalf to investigate where you can go. But you then have to call for the appointment. You need to talk it out. If you have to make several phone calls to find what you need, keep going.
There are also mental health hotlines in every state. Here is a website for California Mental Health: http://www.dmh.cahwnet.gov/ Please keep it handy. Ask questions and find out. Whatever you do, don't turn to drugs or alcohol to assauge the pain. We all have to go through pain to get to the other side. Reach out for a helping hand to cross over the divide back to normalcy!
There is also your local Catholic Church--and you don't have to be Catholic. Every community has a Parish Outreach Social Ministry for those in the community in hard times. They help with different needs and have resource information. They also give food to those in need. The help is free and you can always "pay it forward" one day when you are re-situated.
The next "order of business" is recouping your occupational interests and connecting with other people. Please join some job loss clubs in your area. These groups have mushroomed all over the place because millions are out of work. It does a world of good to know we are not alone. We are not freaks of nature because of our loss. Once you start seeing a therapist, you might consider getting some free career guidance and job search assistance. You can go on www.servicelocator.org and tap in your zip code to find a multitude of One Stop Career Centers run by your taxpayer dollars and there for you free of charge. Services include assessment inventories of your talents, strengths and skills and workshops on resumes and interviewing which are stimulating and you will be around other people, not isolated. The longer you isolate, the harder it will be to recoup and get back on your feet. There are some friendly counselors and you might feel better talking to them.
The career center might also have training funds to send you to school for a certification or specific skill to augment your career field or transfer over to a new one. These funds are freely given and never have to be paid back and the schools are usually local.
You will feel better once you equip yourself with a job search backpack. Perhaps there is a trusted teacher from your college days not so long ago or a guidance counselor you can refer to in this difficult time. College placement offices usually offer placement assistance to alumni. If not, there are the centers and groups in your area. Keep reading 405 and look into the vast treasure trove online for career ideas and information, including the Occupational Outlook Handbook and ONET. You can google search the sites. The Interent is always full of whatever it is we are looking for.
I wish you many blessings and a restored outlook on life! You have youth on your side, meaning that you are not at a place yet of having risen to top levels of management in your career or advanced titles. It is much harder to recoup financially and self esteem-wise from a job loss at that point in life. Keep moving forward towards the day you will look back and see this time in your life as a mere blip on the radar. ~The 405 Club (ask us anything http: //the405club.com/ask)
2 years ago / Notes /
There is an overwhelming amount of info out there and people are swamped. However, short pointers may be absorbed better. Each week, once or twice weekly, I will zero in on a specific area of job search, so my tips will encompass everything. A comprehensive offering will include one aspect of categories including cover letters, resumes, interviewing; effective networking and other issues that arise (references, thank you letters, Internet applications, and anything else pertinent).